Luck

There are a lot of things in life I feel lucky to have. I have a family that I love (despite the fact that they are almost always a pain in my butt!), a roof over my head, food to eat every day, clothes to wear and a little baby growing happily in my belly. But there is one thing that stands out to me as something that I feel over the top lucky to have and that would be my husband.

I know a lot of couples that aren't happy or that just deal with eachother because they feel they have to for one reason or another. I know couples that are unfaithful or that just don't even like eachother. And somehow, and I can only imagine that this is from pure luck, I am not in one of these couples.

My husband and I are happy. Sometimes I feel like I have to pinch myself when I realize that none of the big issues in my life are in my relationship. We have been through a heck of a lot together where our relationship was tested very close to its breaking point and we always came back to the point where no matter what the problem, where we were always happiest was together.

I am never going to pretend that I have a perfect relationship. It is far from perfect. We still deal with things all the time. Like right now, the fact that my husband has started smoking again is really testing my patience. But I know that we will get through it because we have to. No problem is too big.

I just feel lucky that this is the man that chose me just as I chose him. I feel lucky that I married a man that my family loves so much. I have six nieces and four nephews and 9 times out of 10 they will run to give him a hug first before they come to me. And that is okay with me because I love to see how much they love him. I feel lucky that when my Mom was here all this weekend, Mike and her spent time alone together and they both enjoyed it. And when my Mom left this morning she said to me, you hold onto him, he is a good man. I feel lucky that every night my husband puts his hands on my belly and talk to his little girl and she responds by kicking him right back. That's right baby, I gave you a good Daddy.

But mostly I feel lucky that every day of my life I can look forward to the next day because he will be there. He will always be there.

Nesting

It has officially begun! I run all over this house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done and taken care of before my sweet little girl gets here. It's nice. Mostly these are things I wanted to get done and kept asking my husband to do...but you know how that goes.

I will start in the non-baby portions of the house. We live in an old little house. Now we do live in Southern California and while it doesn't get TOO cold, it does get chilly. We have 13 windows in our probably 750 square foot house so when it is chilly outside it is downright COLD inside. (Right now when I look out my window there is ice on the roofs...we do get some sort of winter here.) Anyway, we finally got curtains for all our windows, which has drastically helped with the temperatures in here. Plus it just looks so pretty!

We got all of our curtains from Target on clearance. Hello! Target rocks! Blue for the living room and our bedroom and a pretty lime-ish green for the nursery. I was glad I found the clearance at Target or else I was going to order them at JC Penney and then I was just going to get tan for all the rooms. Safety out the window! We got COLOR!

Also, of course, I have been trying to design our girl's nursery. Now I know she won't sleep in there for a good long while, but I just want her space to be perfect. I am not into girly frilly stuff, so before we even knew the sex we found this bedding from Target (on clearance! of course!) which I think is pretty gender neutral.

I love it! It looks so fun and retro to me. Now I just get to add some fun, girly accents. At the moment I am painting the letters for her name to hang above the crib. There is an aqua color in the bedding that you can't really see in this picture. I used that color and the red and yellow on the letters. I will be sure to post a couple of those once they are finished.

I also crocheted a blanket for our girl. (I guess these are the good things about being home.)

This is the first crochet project I have ever finished and while it isn't perfect I am pretty proud of it.

There is still so much to do for our little girl's nursery but so far I think it is going to look beautiful. I just can't wait to meet this precious person that is growing in my belly. She is so active and always moving around. She often responds to her Daddy's voice which just melts my heart. She startles easily with loud noises. It just trips me out how real this is and how much Mike and I have fallen in love with her without even seeing her. I feel myself changing and growing everyday. Not only physically but also mentally and emotionally. Becoming stronger in my beliefs and guarding my family like a mother bear. I love it and I feel so proud of this baby and my husband and I that have created her. In just 17 weeks give or take, our lives will change forever and I couldn't be happier.

It's a GIRL!!!

We found out yesterday that our baby is a perfectly healthy sweet little girl! So excited! And here she is...

Isn't she beautiful??? I am already in love!

Well, Hello Stranger!

So I haven't blogged again in over a month. I am a real loser. But turns out I will have a lot more time to spend chronicling my life on this blog because I lost my job. Not laid off. Fired. Never late or called in sick, did a damn good job but apparently after eight months with this company they decided I was overqualified. Huh. Let me give you a little background.

A little over eight months ago I had a pretty darn good job that I had more than excelled in and was constantly being promoted because I was able to handle more and more challenging work. I started in this company as a receptionist and ended running the entire office and basically making sure my store functioned. The money wasn't really great for what I was doing but I dealt with it at the time. But then I started getting awesome monthly bonuses based on sales which really made up for the not great pay. Then the economy went downhill and people really weren't buying what we were selling anymore. So everyone at my store got laid off except for me and a few other people. We were in charge of closing our store and then we were going to be whisked away to another store. Except the store they were sending me to was more than an hour from my house in a horrible town over the most trafficky freeway. Yeah. No thanks.

So I found another job in my town. The pay was a tiny bit less but I figured I made up for that in the gas money I would save. The other problem, it was back to being a receptionist. Whatever. I figured it might be nice to have a little less responsibility seeing that we were planning on having a baby and I knew I couldn't handle that workload from before and have a child.

So I started this new job. And they really must have thought I was a moron...maybe they didn't read my resume?? All they wanted me to do was answer phones. I told them please give me more work. Everyone else was so busy all the time. I wasn't asking for more pay. I could have done a bunch of jobs just to help and have something to do. For the same amount of money. But whatever, I dealt with it. Last month I got an excellent review. Apparently I am great on the phone and always willing to help my coworkers.

But then last week I was called into my bosses office and was told that I am too overqualified and "bored" and just not getting things done. Okay...no. I had no other jobs than to answer the phone and I did that so whatever. I really don't get it. I know the boss didn't like me for some reason. The one and only time he spoke to me in eight months is when he fired me.

So now I am out of a job and (luckily) able to collect unemployment. And hopefully we can afford COBRA, or else, I don't know what we are going to do about insurance. And hello, I am pregnant, I need insurance!

But I know that everything will be okay. I am looking for jobs but I know the chances of me being hired right now are slim to none. I am just going to take advantage of this time to get ourselves ready for baby. Halfway through now! It won't be long!

My Body Sucks...Big Time

So most people can go online and enter a bodily symptom or sickness or injury they have and something will pop up that is obviously the exact answer and they will deal with the remedy and that will be that. Or how about this? The doctor gives you a prescription that is supposed to fix the problem in one try and, voila! Problem is gone. Or you have a rash or something and you go to the doctor, it is exactly what you think it is and they send you home. Easy as pie.

Yeah. I am not one of those people.

For example, once, this weird, horribly painful rash popped up on my boob. My sisters all agreed that this was simply an allergic reaction to something. I knew better. I went to the doctor and it was some gnarly skin infection that, if left untreated, could be DEADLY. It just happens to some people. There is really no way to "get it". My doctor assured me that something like this would surely only go untreated in a third world country or something so I was not to worry. My life had been saved with one round of antibiotics. Which promptly brought on the yeast infection from hell. Which didn't respond to just Diflucan so it also had to be treated with a 7 day yeast infection treatment. My doctor proclaimed that he had never seen a body have such a reaction. Of course.

Then this other time I had a big pimple on my face just weeks before my wedding. I knew this was not the type to just go away and would more than likely hang around for a while so I decided to take a trip to my dermatologist for a cortizone shot. Normally, that would shrink that sucker in about two days. Tops. Not this time. This time, it shrunk the zit but also killed all the surrounding tissue in the part of my cheek, leaving me with a penny-sized dent in my cheek. Weeks before my wedding. So I rushed back to the dermatologist who was in shock! He, of course, had never seen such a reaction. So he set me up the next day with some free collagen filler shots that would plump up that dent and leave me looking gorgeous for my wedding. Boy was he right! My cheek was plumped right back up to normal! There was some bruising that was supposed to go away in a week. Tops. Yeah. Three weeks later, on my wedding day, that bruising was still there. Nice and navy blue and pretty much impossible to cover. It is one of my favorite parts of my wedding pictures.

I could go on and on and on with this because pretty much every doctor visit in my life has amounted to "I have never seen something quite like this before" or "hmmm...what a strange reaction" or my absolute favorite, "well this just isn't normal". Just the luck of the draw I think.

Which brings me to pregnancy nausea. It sucks and it is totally normal. It started for me on the day my little pregnancy clock ticked over to six weeks. Ten and eleven weeks were by far the absolute worst. I also have this totally awesome accessory to my nausea called acid reflux. I had gotten that long ago before my pregnancy and had made it better with daily Nexium. But it has come back with a vengeance for my pregnancy. Thanks body! You rock! Not only do I get to feel nauseous all the time but I also get to have this incredibly comfortable hot lump in my throat constantly gagging me! Now if that won't make you puke I don't know what will. So I made myself a little trip to my OB and told her I couldn't deal anymore. Please help me. So she prescribes Zofran and a pregnancy safe acid reflux pill called Protonix. She assured me that Protonix was the miracle cure for my acid reflux. I would be feeling better in no time. I took the Zofran and to my surprise and delight, I could eat! It was amazing! I ate the tastiest pot roast ever. But once the Zofran wore off that ugly acid reflux was just waiting to bombard me with it's nastiness. So with an evil laugh, I took that Protonix and waited for it to kick in. Five minutes later and the only thing that kicked in was the puking. I was convinced that it was because I took it with juice, so the next day I tried it with Gatorade. Puked five minutes later. Next day, water. A whole ten minutes of being puke free and there it came again. Water for the next two days and two more days of puking. So I called my doctor begging for an answer. And of course she said "I have never heard of this! This always works." Ha. I shouldn't have even called. So now I just need to stick it out. Tums, Rolaids, Pepcid, milk, fresh pineapple, gum, whatever your remedy, I am sure I have tried it.

Dear Body,

You SUCK. If it weren't for the sweet little baby growing inside of you, I would hit you right now.

Love, Audie

I have missed you dear sweet blog...

So I have been gone for over a month. What a loser. But I assure you it is for a good cause.

You know what I have been doing this last 6 weeks?

Puking my brains out.

Know why?

I am totally....






KNOCKED UP!

That's right! We did it. I am 10 (almost 11) weeks pregnant! We found out October 1.

I have gone through a huge range of emotions for the last 6 weeks. Excited, scared, grateful, thankful, and nervous...oh so very nervous. I never knew what an emotional rollercoaster pregnancy would be. And I want to be realistic here. When I found out, I was really excited but I also thought, did I think about how this would affect mine and Mike's relationship?? I am so used to it being the two of us, what happens when we stick another human in the mix? I was really nervous for a while. But I think it will be okay. I am seeing a different side of my husband. He wants this so much. More than I thought.

I am sure some ladies can side with me here and say that when you are trying to get pregnant you get a little something called tunnel vision. You stop thinking about everything else and only think about that goal. That baby. You don't think about what anyone else thinks. Never! You don't think about logic and practicalities. Nope! That would be too smart. So in my excitement after my big fat positive, I realized, did I give my husband enough say in this matter? I don't want to be the wife whose husband resents her for the baby that came between them. I know he had a part in this...but I think we fog their brain a little in the process, if you know what I mean. But no matter what my husband's feelings were before (even though he says they were for this and I believe him) his feelings now are this. He is already in love with this baby. This kumquat sized little being growing inside of me has stole his heart already. I couldn't be more happy.

Physically, on the other hand, I think I have borrowed the body of someone sickly and old. Food is not my friend anymore. That is a sad thing for me because I LOVE to eat. Now I can eat maybe a couple bites of food, possibly some chicken noodle soup. And water? Ummm...yeah. We haven't been acquainted for a while. I drink a lot of Gatorade. I know that is bad but it is the only thing I can keep down so we are sticking with it. Bedtime happens at around 8pm these days. Although it would be a lot earlier if my husband didn't insist that going to bed right after work might not be such a great idea. Oh and how about sex? Not happening in our house. I think this may look like immaculate conception by the time I give birth. I am hoping that little need might come back in a couple weeks.

Overall though, all of this is for the most miraculous reason. Mike and I are starting our own little family. What dreams may come....

The Top Ten Things I Love About Autumn

10. The light changes to something a bit softer and more cozy. Everything seems a warmer and the world feels friendly.

9. There is this weather, can't explain it and I have only felt it in California. Coolish air with a warm, dry breeze. It makes me feel like falling in love.

8. The clothes are so much more fabulous and fun! Scarves! Sweaters! Gloves! Boots! I'm in Heaven!

7. It gets dark early and light late. This is how the world is supposed to feel!

6. The colors are so much more ME! Orange, red, yellow, and brown, oh my!

5. Smells are warm and familiar. I love pumpkin, spicy cinnamon, and the smell of the fall air.

4. HALLOWEEN! Who doesn't love wearing costumes and eating candy??!!?

3. Food! Comforts foods reign supreme in Fall. I am excited for cabbage rolls and beef stew, roast beef and chicken and dumplings!

2. Family get togethers really take over in Fall. I have something scheduled almost every weekend until December.

1. Cuddling with my big Teddy Bear of a hubby when it is chilly outside. That really is the best.